You're not always wanted, welcome or needed - vol. 1

Monday already. Where did my weekend go?

This morning started out as one of those really "odd" days. You, know, when something just doesn't feel right. Well, after draaaaaaging myself out of bed at 6am, I started my day shift for Monday. It was at 9am when Imogen (my daughter of 11mths) was still fighting the nap I was determined she needed that I eventually gave in. Gave up. Caved under pressure.

I found myself simply telling her that if she doesn't want to sleep, then today I am not going to force the issue. She can meander around the house until her eyelids slam shut. I am in mood to be battling the wills.

So being what I perceive to be a sensitive mom, I felt very bad so plonked my behind down next to her in the nursery ready to entertain and generally have some fun when she looked up me at with me with her little eyes and burst into tears. I was flabbergasted. I mean, I meant to be her whole world. Without me she is meant to go to jelly and have a fit. But for the first time I experienced her emerging independence. It was like she was telling me to leave her alone. And jeepers, did it hurt.

So with ego dented and jilted, I now sit here at my PC while her majesty, Princess Imogen, entertains herself. And she must be having fun because I hear to odd coo of delight from the room.

I have been to the door to peek in once or twice just to make sure everything is alright. The last time I did this, she saw me and quite casually waved me "Bye Bye" and went back to what it was she was doing.

So there you have it. At 11 months, this little person let me know in no uncertain terms that, yes, mama, thanks for letting me use your uterus, but there are days when you are not always welcome, wanted or needed for that fact.

Lesson #1 of more to come, I assume.

Lets hope I weather the rest with sanity intact.