Failure to Navigate

I can't say I'm too attached to useless gadgets. I just find that at the rate technology develops these days, something bigger and better is going be released tomorrow so honestly why bother! This does go without saying that today I took my first, virgin drive into the city solo. Well, Imogen was in her car-seat but its not like she was offering too much argument as to which route to take.

So post installing her majesty into her chair, I set the GPS (brand not mentioned, but you know who you are!) and head off. Might I add that "Emily" then chose this time to develop a most terrible case of laryngitis. Perhaps the fact that the jolly thing missioned off the windscreen only 50 meters up the road should have been an omen. But being the tenacious, stubborn, Staffordshire Bull Terror type that I am, I persisted. Well only so far. About 6kms into my journey I threw the fecking thing into the cubby, drew a deep breath and prayed I could remember the route.

Ok, now I digress, but only for a moment. The journey is much different from the passenger seat! When I am riding shotgun I know every landmark, remember every road number, in fact I could navigate the Vatican on Prozac whilst blindfolded and drunk. Heck I know it all. In fact this has been the source of many arguments between the king and I over the years.

But, put me behind the wheel and its like my internal road map goes "ppoooofff" and it all disappears. My brain turns to jelly. I'm rendered lost. Directionless. Rigting beduiweled as they say in Afrikaans.

I am also one of those weird creatures that functions better when driving if the baby is on mute and the radio is blaring at a thousand decibels. I don't know what it is but I create these mental maps that seem to be etched into my brain by music.

Ok got to destination all safe and sound. And actually think I may have enjoyed the trip. And Must add the I consider the only contributing factor is the fact that the king made me drive there just last week.

Righty. Ahem. Trip back. Not so lekker. After fiddling with the "equipment" for more than an hour at my destination I was thrilled. It seemed I had not only cured Emily's elective mutism but I had also trimmed about 15mins off my journey. Oh yippee, lucky me (sarcasm intended!)

So, bundle her majesty back into the Suzi-ooki, say our cheerios and head off. And wouldnt you believe it if the sodding thing goes blank before the end of the road! So there I am on what I feel is possibly the narrowest street in Cape Town with my hazards on, looking like a real "ma-plotter" whilst I fiddle behind my seat and locate mandatory charger, proud of my forbearance at remembering to pack the thing in the first place. Plug in said charger and still blank screen. So for the second time today I inhale deeply and tell myself, "it's okay, I'll just get the GPS on before I hit the M5". Ya right!

Ok well the M5 ain't that bad. But the route that promised to "trim" 15mins off my journey involves the Koeberg Interchange. A tangled spaghetti mess of highway that the Cape Town city metrepol thought wasnt complicated enough so they decided to revamp. Three lanes moving (barely) 6kms in an hour. Yes, I really wanted to sit thru my ENTIRE CD collection in traffic. Thanks for making that happen.

And without the GPS, I would now have to swallow my pride and actually remember where I'm meant to be going. Its here that I refer to my previous point about my bum and the driver's seat and sudden memory loss. So suck it up, sister. And after a reassuring call from the king I was on my way. With her majesty now asleep in her seat. What I would've given to snooze all the way home.

And as you can probably tell I made it home fine and well. Albeit a 20min journey took almost and hour and a half.

Now its round about now that I would wax lyrical about the vestiges of NOT buying these gadgets. How they are total crap. Over-priced. Just another 'thing' to cart in and out of the car. Yada, yada, yada.

But after all of this, I did learn a lesson today. No jokes. A real lesson. And it is...brace yourselves.

Pay more attention when you're so busy being the know-it-all passenger!

PS. Emily survived, but today she did get an free introduction to her private pilots license.  Sorry, some habits die hard I'm afraid.

So until we meet again.
Bon ca, Mon coeur!